1: Under no circumstances may two men share an umbrella.
2: It is OK for a man to cry ONLY under the following
(a) When a heroic dog dies to save its master.
(b) The moment Angelina Jolie starts unbuttoning her Blouse.
(c) After wrecking your boss’s car.
(d) When she is using her teeth.
3: Any Man who brings a camera to a bachelor party may be legally
killed and eaten by his buddies.
4: Unless he murdered someone in your family, you must bail a
friend out of jail within 12 hours.
5: If you’ve known a guy for more than 24 hours, his sister is off
limits forever unless you actually marry her.
6: Moaning about the brand of free beer in a buddy’s fridge is
forbidden. However complain at will if the temperature is
7: No man shall ever be required to buy a birthday present for
another man. In fact, even remembering your buddy’s birthday is
strictly optional. At that point, you must celebrate at a strip
bar of the birthday boy’s choice.
8: On a road trip, the strongest bladder determines pit stops, not
9: It is permissible to drink a fruity alcohol drink only when
you’re sunning on a tropical beach … and it’s delivered by a
topless model and only when it’s free.
10: Only in situations of moral and/or physical peril are you
allowed to kick another guy in the nuts.
11: Unless you’re in prison, never fight naked.
12: Friends don’t let friends wear Speedos. Ever. Issue closed.
13: If a man’s fly is down, that’s his problem, you didn’t see
14: Women who claim they “love to watch sports” must be treated as
spies until they demonstrate knowledge of the game and the ability
to drink as much as the other sports watchers.
15: Never hesitate to reach for the last beer or the last slice of
pizza, but not both, that’s just greedy.
16: If you compliment a guy on his six-pack, you’d better be
talking about his choice of beer.
17: Phrases that may NOT be uttered to another man while lifting
a) Yeah, Baby, Push it!
b) C’mon, give me one more! Harder!
c) Another set and we can hit the showers!
18: The girl who replies to the question “What do you want for
Christmas?” with “If you loved me, you’d know what I want!” gets
an Xbox. End of story.
19: There is no reason for guys to watch Ice Skating or Men’s
20: We’ve all heard about people having guts or balls, but do you
really know the difference between them? In an effort to keep you
informed, the definition of each is listed below:
“GUTS” is arriving home late after a night out with the guys,
being assaulted by your wife with a broom, and having the guts to
say, “are you still cleaning or are you flying somewhere?”
“BALLS” is coming home late after a night out with the guys,
smelling of perfume and beer, lipstick on your collar, slapping
your wife on the ass and having the balls to say, “Roll over,
I hope this clears up any confusion,
The International Council of Manlaws, Ltd