The Flat Tyre!

Yesterday I had a flat tire on the highway, so I eased my car over to the shoulder of the road, carefully got out of the car and opened the trunk.

I took out two cardboard men, unfolded them and stood them at the rear of my car facing oncoming traffic. They look so life-like you wouldn’t believe it! They are in trench coats, exposing their nude bodies and private parts to the approaching drivers.

I started to change my tire, and to my surprise, cars started slowing down looking at my life-like men. And of course, traffic started backing up. Everybody was tooting their horns and waving like crazy.

It wasn’t long before an OPP pulled up behind me. He got out of his car and started walking towards me. I could tell he was not a happy camper! “What’s going on here?”

“My car has a flat tire,” I said calmly.

“Well, what the hell are those obscene cardboard men doing here by the road?”

I told him, “Hello-o-o-o, those are my emergency flashers.”

The International Council on Manlaws, Ltd.

 

 

1: Under no circumstances may two men share an umbrella.

2: It is OK for a man to cry ONLY under the following
Circumstances:
(a) When a heroic dog dies to save its master.
(b) The moment Angelina Jolie starts unbuttoning her Blouse.
(c) After wrecking your boss’s car.
(d) When she is using her teeth.

3: Any Man who brings a camera to a bachelor party may be legally
killed and eaten by his buddies.

4: Unless he murdered someone in your family, you must bail a
friend out of jail within 12 hours.

5: If you’ve known a guy for more than 24 hours, his sister is off
limits forever unless you actually marry her.

6: Moaning about the brand of free beer in a buddy’s fridge is
forbidden. However complain at will if the temperature is
unsuitable.

7: No man shall ever be required to buy a birthday present for
another man. In fact, even remembering your buddy’s birthday is
strictly optional. At that point, you must celebrate at a strip
bar of the birthday boy’s choice.

8: On a road trip, the strongest bladder determines pit stops, not
the weakest.

9: It is permissible to drink a fruity alcohol drink only when
you’re sunning on a tropical beach … and it’s delivered by a
topless model and only when it’s free.

10: Only in situations of moral and/or physical peril are you
allowed to kick another guy in the nuts.

11: Unless you’re in prison, never fight naked.

12: Friends don’t let friends wear Speedos. Ever. Issue closed.

13: If a man’s fly is down, that’s his problem, you didn’t see
anything.

14: Women who claim they “love to watch sports” must be treated as
spies until they demonstrate knowledge of the game and the ability
to drink as much as the other sports watchers.

15: Never hesitate to reach for the last beer or the last slice of
pizza, but not both, that’s just greedy.

16: If you compliment a guy on his six-pack, you’d better be
talking about his choice of beer.

17: Phrases that may NOT be uttered to another man while lifting
weights:

a) Yeah, Baby, Push it!

b) C’mon, give me one more! Harder!

c) Another set and we can hit the showers!

18: The girl who replies to the question “What do you want for
Christmas?” with “If you loved me, you’d know what I want!” gets
an Xbox. End of story.

19: There is no reason for guys to watch Ice Skating or Men’s
Gymnastics. Ever.

20: We’ve all heard about people having guts or balls, but do you
really know the difference between them? In an effort to keep you
informed, the definition of each is listed below:

“GUTS” is arriving home late after a night out with the guys,
being assaulted by your wife with a broom, and having the guts to
say, “are you still cleaning or are you flying somewhere?”

“BALLS” is coming home late after a night out with the guys,
smelling of perfume and beer, lipstick on your collar, slapping
your wife on the ass and having the balls to say, “Roll over,
You’re next!”

I hope this clears up any confusion,

The International Council of Manlaws, Ltd

Ten Reasons to Go to Work Naked

 

 

1. Your boss is always yelling, “I wanna see your ass
in here by 8:00!”

2. Can take advantage of computer monitor radiation to
work on your tan.

3. “I’d love to chip in, but I left my wallet in my
pants.”

4. To stop those creepy guys in Marketing from looking
down your blouse.

5. You want to see if it’s like the dream.

6. So that with a little help from Muzak you can
add “Exotic Dancer” to your exaggerated resume.

7. People stop stealing your pens after they’ve seen
where you keep them.

8. Diverts attention from the fact that you also came
to work drunk.

9. Gives “bad hair day” a whole new meaning.

10. No one steals your chair.