QUESTIONS YOU JUST CAN’T ANSWER……..OR CAN YOU??


Why doesn’t Tarzan have a beard when he lives in the jungle
without a razor?

Why do we press harder on a remote control when we know the
batteries are flat?

Why do banks charge a fee on ‘insufficient funds’ when they know
there is not enough?

Why do Kamikaze pilots wear helmets?

Why does someone believe you when you say there are four billion
stars, but check when you say the paint is wet?

Whose idea was it to put an ‘S’ in the word ‘lisp’?

What is the speed of darkness?

Why is it that people say they ‘slept like a baby’ when babies wake
up every two hours?

If the temperature is zero outside today and it’s going to be twice
as cold tomorrow, how cold will it be?

Do married people live longer than single ones or does it only seem
longer?

How is it that we put man on the moon before we figured out it
would be a good idea to put wheels on luggage?

Why do people pay to go up tall buildings and then put money in
binoculars to look at things on the ground?

Did you ever stop and wonder…….

Who was the first person to look at a cow and say, ‘I think I’ll
squeeze
these pink dangly things here, and drink whatever comes out?’

Who was the first person to say, ‘See that chicken there… I’m
gonna eat the next thing that comes outta it’s bum.’

Why do toasters always have a setting so high that could burn the
toast to a horrible crisp, which no decent human being would eat?

Why is there a light in the fridge and not in the freezer?

Why do people point to their wrist when asking for the time, but
don’t point to their bum when they ask where the bathroom is?

Why does your Gynaecologist leave the room when you get undressed
if they are going to look up there anyway?

Why does Goofy stand erect while Pluto remains on all fours?
They’re both dogs!

If quizzes are quizzical, what are tests?

If corn oil is made from corn, and vegetable oil is made from
vegetables, then what is baby oil made from?

If electricity comes from electrons, does morality come from morons?

Why do the Alphabet song and Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star have the
same tune?

Stop singing and read on……

Do illiterate people get the full effect of Alphabet Soup?

Did you ever notice that when you blow in a dog’s face, he gets mad
at you, but when you take him on a car ride, he sticks his head out
the window?

Does pushing the elevator button more than once make it arrive faster?

My First Time……?

The sky was dark
The moon was high
All alone
Just her and I
Her hair so soft
Her eyes so blue
I knew just what
She wanted to do
Her skin so soft
Her legs so fine
I ran my fingers
Down her spine
I didn’t know how
But I tried my best
To place my hand
On her breasts
I remember my fear
My fast beating heart
But slowly she spread
Her legs apart
And when she did it
I felt no shame
All at once
The white stuff came
At last it’s finished
It’s all over now
My first time
Milking a cow!