A Mother’s Dictionary

AMNESIA: A condition that enables a woman who has gone through labor to have sex again.

BOTTLE FEEDING: An opportunity for Daddy to get up at 2am also.

DEFENSE: What you’d better have around de yard if you’re going to let de children play outside.

DUMBWAITER: One who asks if the kids would care to order dessert.

FAMILY PLANNING: The art of spacing your children the proper distance apart to keep you on the edge of financial disaster.

FEEDBACK: The inevitable result when the baby doesn’t appreciate the strained carrots.

GRANDPARENTS: The people who think your children are wonderful even though they’re sure you’re not raising them right.

HEARSAY: What toddlers do when anyone mutters a dirty word.

IMPREGNABLE: A woman whose memory of labor is still vivid.

INDEPENDENT: How we want our children to be as long as they do everything we say.

LOOK OUT!: What it’s too late for your child to do by the time you scream it.

PRENATAL: When your life was still somewhat your own.

PREPARED CHILDBIRTH: A contradiction in terms.

PUDDLE: A small body of water that draws other small bodies wearing dry shoes into it.

SHOW OFF: A child who is more talented than yours.

STOREROOM: The distance required between the supermarket aisles so that children in shopping carts can’t quite reach anything.

TEMPER TANTRUMS: What you should keep to a minimum so as to not upset the children.

TOP BUNK: Where you should never put a child wearing Superman jammies.

TWO-MINUTE WARNING: When the baby’s face turns red and she begins to make those familiar grunting noises.

VERBAL: Able to whine in words

WEAKER SEX: The kind you have after the kids have worn you out.

WHODUNIT: None of the kids that live in your house.

WHOOPS: An exclamation that translates roughly into “get a sponge.”

What Love means to a 4-8 year olds . . . . . . .


Slow down for three  minutes to read this.  It is so  worth it. Touching words  from the mouth of babes.

A group of professional  people posed this question to a group of 4 to 8 year-olds, “What does love  mean?”

The answers they got were broader and deeper than anyone could  have imagined. See what you think:

“When my grandmother  got arthritis, she couldn’t bend over and paint her toenails anymore.
So  my grandfather does it for her all the time, even when his hands got arthritis  too. That’s love.”

Rebecca- age 8

“When someone loves  you, the way they say your name is different.
You just know that your name  is safe in their mouth.”

Billy – age 4

“Love is when a girl  puts on perfume and a boy puts on shaving cologne and they go out and smell  each other.”

Karl – age 5

“Love is when you go  out to eat and give somebody most of your French fries without making them  give you any of theirs.”

Chrissy – age 6

“Love is what makes  you smile when you’re tired.”
Terri – age 4

“Love is when my  mommy makes coffee for my daddy and she takes a sip before giving it to him,  to make sure the taste is OK.”

Danny – age 7

“Love is when you  kiss all the time. Then when you get tired of kissing, you still want to be  together and you talk more.
My Mommy and Daddy are like that. They look  gross when they kiss”

Emily – age 8

“Love is what’s in  the room with you at Christmas if you stop opening presents and listen.”

Bobby – age 7 (Wow!)

“If you want to  learn to love better, you should start with a friend who you hate,”

Nikka – age 6
(we need a few million more Nikka’s on this planet)

“Love is when you  tell a guy you like his shirt, then he wears it everyday.”

Noelle –  age 7

“Love is like a  little old woman and a little old man who are still friends even after they  know each other so well.”

Tommy – age 6

“During my piano  recital, I was on a stage and I was scared. I looked at all the people  watching me and saw my daddy waving and smiling.

He was the only one  doing that. I wasn’t scared anymore.”

Cindy – age 8

“My mommy loves me  more than anybody
You don’t see anyone else kissing me to sleep at night.”

Clare – age 6

“Love is when Mommy  gives Daddy the best piece of chicken.”

Elaine-age 5

“Love is when Mommy  sees Daddy smelly and sweaty and still says he is handsomer than Robert  Redford.”

Chris – age 7

“Love is when your  puppy licks your face even after you left him alone all day.”

Mary Ann  – age 4

“I know my older  sister loves me because she gives me all her old clothes and has to go out and  buy new ones.”

Lauren – age 4

“When you love  somebody, your eyelashes go up and down and little stars come out of you.”  (what an image)

Karen – age 7

“Love is when Mommy  sees Daddy on the toilet and she doesn’t think it’s gross.”

Mark – age  6

“You really  shouldn’t say ‘I love you’ unless you mean it. But if you mean it, you should  say it a lot. People forget.”

Jessica – age 8

And the final one —  Author and lecturer Leo Buscaglia once talked about a contest he was asked to  judge.

The purpose of the contest was to find the most caring child

The winner was a four year  old child whose next door neighbor was an elderly gentleman who had recently  lost his wife.

Upon seeing the man cry, the little boy went into the  old gentleman’s yard, climbed onto his lap, and just sat there.

When  his Mother asked what he had said to the neighbor, the little boy said,

“Nothing, I just helped him cry”