Some more scripts from Medical Charts!

 “unresponsive and in no distress”

 “nonverbal, noncommunicative and offers no complaints”

 “irregular heart failure”

 “The need to maintain dialogue with the family regarding the appropriatenss of limiting futile care to the patient is noted”

 “his Hct is stable but dropping”

 “I don’t want to be incubated again”

 Indication for CXR – “coffee bean emesis”

 “increased worriation”

 “V/Q scan was positive for low probability”

 “pt was apprehended and guarded”

 “pulses are fixed and dilated”

 in asking about code status – “do you want your wife to receive artificial insemination”

 “Findings compatible with ileus. Bladder is still in colon”

 “be sure to check eyes and nose” (Is and Os)

 “unemployed cashier”

 Reason for leaving AMA – “pt wants to live”

 “I had a kiwi on my chest” (keloid)

 “dictated home O2, transcribed homo too”

 “I have hemorrhoids & the Fitzgeralds”

 “that bacterial virus is a doozy”

 “noncompliant smoker”

 “homodynamic compromise”

 “denies any rectal breeding”

 Indication for an EGD (written by a physician) – “stomach hurt, swallow face in the morning, her poop is black & diabetes”

 “spucus”

 “fireballs in the uterus”

 Reason for office visit – “F\U chest rumbles”

 “partial TAH”

 Nursing notes in the ICU – “MD @ bedside attempted to urinate”

 “titrate Tridil to pain”

 Indication for flex sig – “blood when whipping himself”

 “chicken pops”

 “if she wants children, think about recommending birth control pills”

 “polynephritis”

 “holy systolic murmur”

 “pt expired and was dc’d home”

 “Pt has looked cachectic for the past 3 days”

 “She diuresed pretty well. I gave her 40 of Lasix and she put out 2000 liters.”

 “My back has been hurting ever since they gave me that cauterizer.” (Foley catheter)

 discharge dx=nephrolithiasis; discharge instructions=”drink plenty of urine”

 “Her CHF got much better with diaphoresis”

 “She did not lose control of her rectum”

 Plan – “gently dehydrate”

 “allergic to Sulpher”

 “platelets 1889 – dx thrombocytopenia”

 “essentially tremors”

 “nursing home called for pt acting lethargic”

 “microalbumin anemia”

 “pt is 95% blind”

 chief complaint – “bazaar behavior”

 “GERP”

 “depakote shot for pain”

 “albeauty inhaler”

 “I follow him for his paranoia”

 “We will watch her diarrhea closely”

 NH order – “check pulse everyday”

 allergies – “yes”

 “They took a 50 cent piece out of my colon” (hemicolectomy)

 “She has encephalitis of her right leg.”

 “It has been decided to stop Vancomycin IV since we would need a PICC line and the patient, like many people who have PICC lines might pull the line out.”

 “The surgical team was contracted for a cecal mass.”

 “I need a colectomy because I have pollen in my colon.”

 “This is a 981 YO female with a host of medical problems.”

 “The patient is actually a fairly reliable historian.”

 “hyperglycemia toe”

 “brachycardia”

 order – “DC home when strong”

 “pt was given a banana bath”

 “acid peptic disease”

 “The patient is difficult historian. The question is as to what is going on with the patient.”

 “This is a 75 YO type 2 hypertensive”

 Order “Please feed patient only when awake.”

 “Check orthostasis while on the floor”

 “She is to wear STD stockings”

 Order “aspiration prophylaxis”

 Order “PT/OT eval STAT”

 “nonaudible wheezing noted”

 When asked if she had a discharge, the patient said “No, but I have Blue Cross Blue Shield.”

 “Yes, I just met the Infectious Waste doctor.”

 Nurse to doctor: “I just want to let you know that this lady has had decreased urinary intake.” (Doctor aware)

 “He is allergic to wives.”

 “No clubbing, cyanois, or extremities.”

 “Renal insufficiency. IV Lasix was used to perfuse the kidney.”

 order: “Incentive spriometry Q 1 hour until awake.”

 “fibromyalgia rheumatica”

 “Pleasant man lying comfortably in bed. Appears somewhat uncomfortable”

 “Her stomach showed 3+ edema up to the knees.”

 “Will hold glyburide for now because of reverse hypoglycemia.”

 “pneumonia left femur”

 “2-4 packs of whiskey QD”

 “Pt is on clonidine, not”