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InformationSystem

Substance: Woman

Manufacturer: God

Typical Size: Average weight 115lbs.; specimens can vary from 90 to over 200 lbs.

Occurrence: Large quantities found in urban areas and shopping malls.

PHYSICAL PROPERTIES:

1. Surface Tension–soft and warm.

2. Exposed surfaces usually cosmetically enhanced.

3. Boils at nothing.

4. Freezes without reason.

5. Melts with special reason.

6. Flavor initially sweet, becomes bitter if used incorrectly.

7. Found in various states of purity from virgin metal to common(h)ore.

8. Yields to pressure applied to specific points.

9. Sometimes enlarges alarmingly with age.

10. Even brief linking with male substance can cause substance to reproduce with marked physical and mental changes.

CHEMICAL PROPERTIES:

1. Has affinity for gold, silver, and precious stones.

2. Absorbs great quantities of expensive substances.

3. Highly volatile for reasons not clearly understood.

4. Verbal activity greatly increased by alcohol saturation.

5. Most powerful money-reducing agent known (See HAZARDS…

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