The Flat Tyre!

Yesterday I had a flat tire on the highway, so I eased my car over to the shoulder of the road, carefully got out of the car and opened the trunk.

I took out two cardboard men, unfolded them and stood them at the rear of my car facing oncoming traffic. They look so life-like you wouldn’t believe it! They are in trench coats, exposing their nude bodies and private parts to the approaching drivers.

I started to change my tire, and to my surprise, cars started slowing down looking at my life-like men. And of course, traffic started backing up. Everybody was tooting their horns and waving like crazy.

It wasn’t long before an OPP pulled up behind me. He got out of his car and started walking towards me. I could tell he was not a happy camper! “What’s going on here?”

“My car has a flat tire,” I said calmly.

“Well, what the hell are those obscene cardboard men doing here by the road?”

I told him, “Hello-o-o-o, those are my emergency flashers.”

Some interesting facts!

‘Stewardesses’ is the longest word typed with only the left hand

And ‘lollipop’ is the longest word typed with your right hand.

No word in the English language rhymes with month, orange, silver, or purple.

‘Dreamt’ is the only English word that ends in the letters ‘mt’.

Our eyes are always the same size from birth, but our nose and ears never stop growing..as do some other body parts to eh??.

The sentence: ‘The quick brown fox jumps over the lazy dog’ uses every letter of the alphabet.

The words ‘racecar,’

and ‘level’ are the same whether they are read left to right or right to left (palindromes).

There are only four words in the English language which end in ‘dous’: tremendous, horrendous, stupendous, and hazardous.

There are two words in the English language that have all five vowels in order: ‘abstemious’ and ‘facetious.’ (Yes, admit it, you are going to say, a e i o u)

TYPEWRITER is the longest word that can be made using the letters only on one row of the keyboard.

A cat has 32 muscles in each ear.

A goldfish has a memory span of three seconds.

A ‘jiffy’ is an actual unit of time for 1/100th of a second.

A shark is the only fish that can blink with both eyes.

A snail can sleep for three years.

Almonds are a member of the peach family.

An ostrich’s eye is bigger than its brain.

Babies are born without kneecaps. They don’t appear until the child reaches 2 to 6 years of age.

February 1865 is the only month in recorded history not to have a full moon.

In the last 4,000 years, no new animals have been domesticated.

If the population of China walked past you, 8 abreast, the line would never end because of the rate of reproduction.

Leonardo Da Vinci invented the scissors

Peanuts are one of the ingredients of dynamite!

Rubber band last longer when refrigerated.

The average person’s left hand does 56% of the typing.

The cruise liner, QE 2 moves only six inches for each gallon of diesel that it burns.

The microwave was invented after a researcher walked by a radar tube and a chocolate bar melted in his pocket.

The winter of 1932 was so cold that Niagara Falls

froze completely solid.

There are more chickens than people in the world.

Winston Churchill

was born in a ladies’ room during a dance.

Women blink nearly twice as much as men.

Now you know more than you did before!!