Letter from Sipho to Mr. Bill Gates of Microsoft. Eish!

*Subject: Problems with my new computer*

Dear Mr. Bill Gates,

We have bought a computer for our home and we have found some problems,
which I want to bring to your notice.

1. There is a button ‘start’ but there is no ‘stop’ button. We request
you to check this.

2. We find there is ‘Run’ in the menu. One of my friends clicked ‘run’
he ran up to ESANGWENI! So, we request you to change that to ‘sit’, so
that we can click that by sitting.

3. One doubt is whether any ‘re-scooter’ is available in system? I find
only ‘re-cycle’, but I own a scooter at my home.

4. There is ‘Find’ button but it is not working properly. My wife lost
the door key and we tried a lot trace the key with this ‘ find’ button,
but was unable to trace. Please rectify this problem.

5. My child learnt ‘Microsoft word’ now he wants to learn ‘Microsoft
sentence’, so when you will provide that?

6. I bought computer, CPU, mouse and keyboard, but there is only one
icon which shows ‘MY Computer’: when you will provide the remaining
items?

7. It is surprising that windows says ‘MY Pictures’ but there is not
even a single photo of mine. So when will you keep my photo in that.

8. There is ‘MICROSOFT OFFICE’ what about ‘MICROSOFT HOME’ since I use
the PC at home only.

9. You provided ‘My Recent Documents’. When you will provide ‘My Past
Documents’?

10. You provide ‘My Network Places’. PLEASE do not provide
‘My Secret Places’. I do not want to let my wife know where I go after
my office hours.

Regards,

Sipho

Last one from me to Mr Bill Gates :
Sir, how is it that your name is Gates but u are selling WINDOWS?

A clever Blond? Ouch!!

A lawyer boarded an airplane in New Orleans with a box of frozen crabs and asked a blonde stewardess to take care of them for him.

She took the box and promised to put it in the crew’s refrigerator.

He advised her that he was holding her personally responsible for them staying frozen mentioning in a very haughty manner that he was a lawyer and proceeded to rant at her about what would happen if she let them thaw out.

Needless to say she was annoyed by his behaviour.

Shortly before landing in New York she used the intercom to announce to the entire cabin: “Would the gentleman who gave me the crabs in New Orleans please raise your hand?”

Not one hand went up …. so she took them home and ate them.

Two lessons here:

1. Lawyers aren’t as smart as they think they are.

2. Blondes aren’t as dumb as most folks think.

‘n Paar vinniges! Slegs as jy verby die botteldrink stadium is!

Jannie en Sannie speel wegkruipertjie. Sannie stuur vir Jannie ‘n sms wat sê : ” As jy my kry, kan jy my spyker, as jy my nie kry nie, ek’s in die garage” .

Gatiep vang Maraai voor die cashloans besig om tussen haar bene te waai. Hy vra toe wat sy maak en ewe wys antwoord sy ‘ ekt my skuld betaal, ek waai net my kwitansie droog’

Twee seuntjies ry fiets in die straat. Die 1 ry te vinnig en Val baie hard. Sy maaitjie jaag na die dokter toe op die hoek. Oom, oom kom help, my maaitjie het seer gekry. Maar ek is ‘ n ginekoloog, ek werk met tannies se privaat dele, se dok. Danzit sharp Oom, want my maaitjie het sy p##s afgeval!!

Verdwaalde toeris stop laans pad. Gatiep sit onder boom en draadtrek. Toeris vra: Is dit Putsonderwater? Gatiep: Nei, dis spyker sonder partner!

Ou Ga na fancy dress party kaal met net ‘ n jam bottel oor sy lat. Wat is jy vra die girl? Brandweer man se hy. Jy breek die glas, trek die knop en ek kom so vinnig as ek kan .

Blond knoop ha bloes oop en vra die Boer: ” Wat sal jy doen as dit sulke druppels op die plaas reen? Boer knoop sy broek oop en sê : ” Dan groei DA sulke mielies!

Alkohol vrye bier is nes ‘n pantie wat op die wasgoedlyn hang: Die lekker deel is nie meer daarin nie!

Adam & Eva loer onder mekaar se blare in. Adam se: Ek sien jy verjaar, jou koek is gesny. Eva wip haar gat & sê : Ek sien jou pere is vrot, daar hang ‘ n wurm!

Jannie klap die toilet rim op sy tottie vas en hardloop vinnig na sy ma toe en sê sy moet die eina beter soen, Ma haak af en sê : “Moenie met jou pa se dinge begin nie”