Priceless Observations!

Yet again, the fabulous, much revered  Priceless Observations Department:

Sometimes, when I look at my children, I say to myself, ‘Lillian, you should have remained a virgin.’

Lillian Carter (mother of  Jimmy Carter)


I had a rose named after me and I was very flattered. But I was not pleased to read the description in the catalog: – ‘No good in a bed, but fine against a wall.’

– Eleanor Roosevelt

Last week, I stated this woman was the ugliest woman I had ever seen. I have since been visited by her sister, and now wish to withdraw that statement.

–  Mark Twain

The secret of a good sermon is to have a good beginning and a good ending; and to have the two as close together as possible.

–  George Burns


Santa Claus has the right idea. Visit people only once a year.

– Victor Borge


Be careful about reading health books. You may die of a misprint.

– Mark Twain


By all means, marry. If you get a good wife, you’ll become happy; if you get a bad one, you’ll become a philosopher.

– Socrates


I was married by a judge. I should have asked for a jury.

– Groucho Marx


My wife has a slight impediment in her speech. Every now and then she stops to breathe.

–  Jimmy Durante


I have never hated a man enough to give his diamonds back.

– Zsa Zsa Gabor


Only Irish coffee provides in a single glass all four essential food groups: alcohol, caffeine, sugar and fat.

– Alex Levine


My luck is so bad that if I bought a cemetery, people would stop dying.

– Rodney Dangerfield


Money can’t buy you happiness .. But it does bring you a more pleasant form of misery.

– Spike Milligan


Until I was thirteen, I thought my name was SHUT UP.

– Joe Namath


I don’t feel old. I don’t feel anything until noon. Then it’s time for my nap.

– Bob Hope


I never drink water because of the disgusting things that fish do in it.

– W. C. Fields


We could certainly slow the aging process down if it had to work its way through Congress.

– Will Rogers


Don’t worry about avoiding temptation. As you grow older, it will avoid you.

– Winston Churchill


Maybe it’s true that life begins at fifty .. But everything else starts to wear out, fall out, or spread out.

– Phyllis Diller


By the time a man is wise enough to watch his step, he’s too old to go anywhere.

–  Billy Crystal


1 thought on “Priceless Observations!

  1. Vonkie! Dis die eerste keer wat ek jou blog lees, maar ek sal dit van nou af meer gereeld doen, dis pret!

    Jy haal aan: I have never hated a man enough to give his diamonds back. – Zsa Zsa Gabor

    Nog een van hare is: ‘n Vrou vertel vir haar: “I want to break up with a rich boyfriend who gave me a fur coat, a stove, jewels, and a car. What should I do?” Zsa Zsa se raad: “Give back the stove!”

    En nog een: “I am a very good housekeeper. Every time I get a divorce, I keep the house.” – Zsa Zsa Gabor

    En Mae West oor diamante: When outspoken actress Mae West was told “Goodness! What lovely diamonds you have!” she replied: “Goodness has nothing to do with it.”

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