- Birds of a feather flock together… and then they mess on your car.
- A penny saved is a government oversight.
- The real art of conversation is not only to say the right thing at the right time, but also to leave unsaid the wrong thing at the most tempting moment.
- The older you get, the tougher it is to lose weight, because by then your body and your fat have gotten to be really good friends.
- He who hesitates is probably right.
- Did you ever notice: The Roman Numerals for forty (40) are ” XL.”
- If you think there is good in everybody, you haven’t met everybody.
- If you can smile when things go wrong, you have someone in mind to blame.
- The sole purpose of a child’s middle name is so he can tell when he’s really in trouble.
- There’s always a lot to be thankful for if you take time to look for it. For example I am sitting here thinking how nice it is that wrinkles don’t hurt.
- Did you ever notice: When you put the 2 words ” THE” and ” IRS” together it spells “THEIRS?”
- Aging: Eventually you will reach a point when you stop lying about your age and start bragging about it.
- The older we get, the fewer things seem worth waiting in line for.
- Some people try to turn back their odometers. Not me, I want people to know why I look this way. I’ve traveled a long way and some of the roads weren’t paved.
- When you are dissatisfied and would like to go back to youth, think of Algebra.
- Ah, being young is beautiful, but being old is comfortable.
- Long ago when men cursed and beat the ground with sticks, it was called witchcraft. Today, it’s called golf.
- Change is what happens when the pain of holding on becomes greater than the fear of letting go.
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