I’ve decided that to raise my grades I must lower my standards.
–Houghton Library, Harvard University . Cambridge , Massachusetts .
Don’t trust anything that bleeds for 5 days and doesn’t die.
–Men’s restroom, Murphy’s, Champaign , IL
Beauty is only a light switch away.
–Perkins Library, Duke University , Durham , North Carolina.
Remember, it’s not, “How high are you?” it’s “Hi, how are you?”
–Rest stop off Route 81. West Virginia .
God made pot. Man made beer. Whom do you trust?
— The Irish Times, Washington , D.C.
Fighting for peace is like screwing for virginity.
–The Bayou, Baton Rouge , Louisiana .
No matter how good she looks, some other guy is sick and tired of putting up with her shit.
–Men’s Room, Linda’s Bar and Grill. Chapel Hill , North Carolina .
At the feast of ego, everyone leaves hungry.
–Bentley’s House of Coffee and Tea, Tucson , Arizona .
It’s hard to make a comeback when you haven’t been anywhere.
–Written in the dust on the back of a bus. Wickenburg, Arizona .
Make love, not war.–Hell, do both, get married!
–Women’s restroom, The Filling Station. Bozeman , Montana .
God is dead. -Nietzsche; Nietzsche is dead. -God
–The Tombs Restaurant. Washington , D.C.
If voting could really change things, it would be illegal.
–Revolution Books. New York , New York .
A Woman’s Rule of Thumb: If it has tires or testicles, you’re going to have trouble with it.
–Women’s restroom, Dick’s Last Resort. Dallas , Texas .