Three quickies!

He’s the only son of Awh Schitt and Oh Schitt. Awh Schitt, the fertilizer magnate, married Oh Schitt, the owner of the Kneedeep Schitt Inn.

Jack Schitt married Noe Schitt. They produced six children. Holy Schitt, their first, passed on shortly after birth.

Next came twin sons, Deep Schitt and Dip Schitt, two daughters, Fulla Schitt and Giva Schitt, and another son, Bull Schitt. Deep Schitt married Dumb Schitt, a high school dropout.

Dip Schitt married Lotta Schitt, and they have a son, Chicken Schitt.

Fulla Schitt and Giva Schitt Married the Happens brothers.

The Schitt-Happens children are Dog Schitt, Byrd Schitt and Horace Schitt.

Bull Schitt just married a spicey number, Pisa Schitt, and they are awaiting the arrival of Baby Schitt.

Now you know… Jack Schitt

A little boy gets up to go to the bathroom in the middle of the night. As he passes his parent’s bedroom he peeks in through the keyhole.

He watches for a moment, then continues on down the hallway, saying to himself, “Boy, and she gets mad at me for sucking my thumb”

An 80 year old man went for his annual check up and the doctor said, “Friend”, for your age your in the best shape I’ve seen.”

The old feller replied, “Yep. It comes from clean living. Why I know I live a good, clean, spiritual life.”

The doctor asked, “What makes you say that?”

The old man replied, “If I didn’t live a good, clean life the Lord wouldn’t turn the bathroom light on for me every time I get up in the middle of the night.”

The doc was concerned. “You mean when you get up in the night to go to the bathroom, the Lord Himself turns on the light for you?”

“Yep,” the old man said, “Whenever I get up to go to the bathroom, the Lord turns the light on for me.”

Well, the doctor didn’t say anything else, but when the old man’s wife came in for her check up, he felt he had to let her know what her husband said “I just want you to know,” the doctor said. “Your husband’s in fine physical shape but I’m worried about his mental condition He told me that every night when he gets up to go to the bathroom, the Lord turns the light on for him.”

“He what?” she cried.

“He said every night when he gets up to go to the bathroom, the Lord turns the light on for him.”

“Aha!!!” she exclaimed. “So he’s the one who’s been peeing in the refrigerator!”

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