Especially for “dof” people!

Dof people should have to wear signs that just say, “I’M DOF.” That
way you wouldn’t rely on them, would you? You wouldn’t ask them
anything. It would be like, “Excuse me… oops, never mind. Didn’t see
your sign.”

It’s like before my boeta and I moved. Our house was full of boxes and
there was a Pickfords truck in our driveway.
My neighbour comes over and choons, “Hey, you moving?”
“Noooit bru. We just pack our stuff up once or twice a week to see how
many boxes it takes. Here’s your sign!”

A couple of months ago I went fishing with a mate of mine, we pulled
his boat into the ramp, I lifted up this big whiting and this idiot on
the ramp goes, “Hey, you catch all those fish?” “Nooit cuzzi. Talked
‘em into giving up. Here’s your sign.”

I was watching one of those animal shows on the Discovery Channel.
There was a guy inventing a shark bite suit. And there’s only one way
to test it. “Alright Jimmy, you got that shark suit on, it looks
good… They want you to jump into this pool of sharks, and you tell
us if it hurts when they bite you.” “Well, alright, but hold my sign.
I don’t wanna lose it.”

Last time I had a flat tyre, I pulled my car into a petrol station.
The ‘pomp jockey’ walks out, looks at my car, looks at me, and I SWEAR
he choons, “Tyre go flat?” I couldn’t resist. I said, “Nooit Baba.
I was driving around and those other three just swelled up on me.
Here’s your sign.”

I was trying to sell my ‘jammie’ about a year ago. A guy came over to
the house and drove the car around for about 45 minutes. We get back
to the house, he gets out of the car, reaches down and grabs the
exhaust pipe, then says, “Jislaaik, that’s hot!” See? If he’d been
wearing his sign, I could have stopped him!

I learned to drive a 18 wheeler in my days in the ‘mag’. Wouldn’t you
know I misjudged the height of a bridge. The truck got stuck and I
couldn’t get it out no matter how I tried. I radioed in for help and
eventually a local cop shows up to take the report. He went through
his basic questioning… ok.. no problem. I thought sure he was clear
of needing a sign…until he asked “so..is your truck stuck?” I
couldn’t help myself. I looked at him, looked back at the rig and then
back at him took my sign off and chooned, “No. I’m delivering a
bridge. Here’s your sign.”

I stayed late at work one night and a co-worker looked at me and
chooned, “Are you still here?” I replied, “No. I left about 10 minutes
ago. Here’s your sign.”

Anybody you know, need a sign today? Send this to all your chinas!

The next time someone says something dof, you can ask them: Where’s your
sign?
 

Why it’s better to be a Woman!

1. We got off the Titanic first.

2. We get to flirt with systems support men who always return our calls, and are nice to us when we blow up our computers.

3. Our boyfriend’s clothes make us look elfin & gorgeous. Guys look like complete idiots in ours.

4. We can be groupies. Male groupies are stalkers.

5. We can cry and get off speeding fines.

6. We’ve never lusted after a cartoon character or the central female figure in a computer game.

7. Taxis stop for us.

8. Men die earlier, so we get to cash in on the life insurance.

9. We don’t look like a frog in a blender when dancing.

10. Free drinks, Free dinners, Free movies … (you get the point).

11. We can hug our friends without wondering if she thinks we’re gay.

12. We can hug our friends without wondering if WE’RE gay.

13. New lipstick gives us a whole new lease on life.

14. It’s possible to live our whole lives without ever taking a group shower.

15. We don’t have to fart to amuse ourselves.

16. If we forget to shave, no one has to know.

17. We can congratulate our team-mate without ever touching her butt.

18. If we have a zit, we know how to conceal it.

19. We never have to reach down every so often to make sure our privates are still there.

20. If we’re dumb, some people will find it cute.

21. We don’t have to memorize Caddyshack or Fletch to fit in.

22. We have the ability to dress ourselves.

23. We can talk to people of the opposite sex without having to picture them naked.

24. If we marry someone 20 years younger, we’re aware that we look like an idiot.

25. Our friends won’t think we’re weird if we ask whether there’s spinach in our teeth.

26. There are times when chocolate really can solve all your problems.

27. We’ll never regret piercing our ears.

28. We can fully assess a person just by looking at their shoes.

29. We know which glass was ours by the lipstick mark.

30. We have enough sense to realize that the easiest way to get out of being lost is to ask for directions.