Vonkiedool’s aflaai blog!

This chain letter was developed by virile men in order to make their sex life even more fantastic. As opposed to normal chain letters, this one costs nothing, and you can only win.

(Must dash, the post has just arrived.)

This guy walks into a bar and two steps in, he realizes it’s a gay bar. But, what the heck, he says to himself, I really want a drink.

The customer replies, “Because it’s STRONG ENOUGH FOR A MAN, BUT MADE FOR A WOMAN.”

A guy walked into a bar with a pet alligator by his side. He put the alligator up on the bar and turned to the astonished patrons.

“I’ll make you a deal. I’ll open this alligator’s mouth and place my genitals inside.Then the gator will close his mouth for one minute. He’ll then open his mouth and I’ll remove my unit unscathed. In return for witnessing this spectacle, each of you will buy me a drink.” The crowd murmured their approval.

The man stood up on the bar, dropped his trousers, and placed his privates in the alligator’s open mouth. The gator closed his mouth as the crowd gasped. After a minute, the man grabbed a beer bottle and rapped the alligator hard on the top of it’s head.

The gator opened his mouth and the man removed his genital, unscathed as promised.

The crowd cheered and the first of his free drinks was delivered. The man stood up again and made another offer. “I’ll pay anyone $100 who’s willing to give it a try.”

A hush fell over the crowd. After a while, a hand went up in the back of the bar. A Blonde woman timidly spoke up,

“I’ll try, but you have to promise not to hit me on the head with the beer bottle.”

Dink ‘n bietjie……

Dink nog ‘n bietjie………..

Dink bietjie harder………….

Toe nou man!

MY PEN IS IN MY HAND!!

Your Smile for the Week

Be sure and cancel your credit cards before you die. This is so priceless, and so easy to see happening, customer service being what it is today. A lady died this past October, and Absa billed her for November and December for their annual service charges on her credit card, and then added late fees and interest on the monthly charge. The balance had been R0.00, now is somewhere around R500.00. A family member placed a call to Absa:

Family Member: “I am calling to tell you that she died in October.”
Absa: “The account was never closed and the late fees and charges still apply.”
Family Member: “Maybe, you should turn it over to collections.”
Absa: “Since it is two months past due, it already has been.
Family Member: “So, what will they do when they find out she is dead?”
Absa: “Either report her account to the frauds division or report her to the credit bureau, maybe both!”
Family Member: “Do you think God will be mad at her?”
Absa: “Excuse me?”
Family Member: “Did you just get what I was telling you - the part about her being dead?”
Absa: “Sir, you’ll have to speak to my supervisor.”

Supervisor gets on the phone:
Family Member: “I’m calling to tell you, she died in October.”
Absa: “The account was never closed and the late fees and charges still apply.”
Family Member: “You mean you want to collect from her estate?”
Absa: (Stammer) “Are you her lawyer?”
Family Member: “No, I’m her great nephew.” (Lawyer info given)
Absa: “Could you fax us a certificate of death?”
Family Member: “Sure.” (fax number is given)

After they get the fax:
Absa: “Our system just isn’t set-up for death. I don’t know what more I can do to help.”
Family Member: “Well, if you figure it out, great! If not, you could just keep billing her. I don’t think she will care.”
Absa: “Well, the late fees and charges do still apply.”
Family Member: “Would you like her new billing address?”
Absa: “That might help.”
Family Member: “Avalon Cemetery, Chiawelo, Plot Number B9075769.”
Absa: “Sir, that’s a cemetery!”
Family Member: What do you do with dead people on your planet?!”